Who will kill the spiders?

darkside
Who will save me from the dark side? Because I’m all light.

Oh wait, I will. You know why? Because Adam was the absolute worst at killing spiders. You have to COMMIT! I stopped asking him to do it.

But there ARE things that are going to go haywire without him around.

  1. Shit, all those caps and lids. I am terrible at putting lids back on things. Everything dries out because of me. He could follow me around putting the cap back on toothpaste or correctly closing the pickle jar.
  2. How do I work the Nest? I have no idea about how to control the heat in my house.
  3. Who will save the lizards from the dog??????
  4. Who is going to fix the security certificate on our email?
  5. Dammit, I have to go back to being fucked over by mechanics.
  6. It’s a good thing I’m not drinking because I can’t open a wine bottle.
  7. The dishwasher will never be loaded efficiently.
  8. I have a new hair dryer. The cord is tied up and I can’t remember to get the scissors to cut it so I lean into it on eight inches of cord. Adam would have fixed this by now.
  9. Who will explain to me what kind of tree that is? What crop is growing there? My Nebraska boy knew it all.
  10. Who will shovel the driveway?
  11. Who will get me to work if I’m afraid to drive in the snow?
  12. I have no CLUE how to use the barbecue. I still can’t work the Soda Stream, and we’ve already covered a good pot of coffee.

 

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