Oh wait, I will. You know why? Because Adam was the absolute worst at killing spiders. You have to COMMIT! I stopped asking him to do it.
But there ARE things that are going to go haywire without him around.
- Shit, all those caps and lids. I am terrible at putting lids back on things. Everything dries out because of me. He could follow me around putting the cap back on toothpaste or correctly closing the pickle jar.
- How do I work the Nest? I have no idea about how to control the heat in my house.
- Who will save the lizards from the dog??????
- Who is going to fix the security certificate on our email?
- Dammit, I have to go back to being fucked over by mechanics.
- It’s a good thing I’m not drinking because I can’t open a wine bottle.
- The dishwasher will never be loaded efficiently.
- I have a new hair dryer. The cord is tied up and I can’t remember to get the scissors to cut it so I lean into it on eight inches of cord. Adam would have fixed this by now.
- Who will explain to me what kind of tree that is? What crop is growing there? My Nebraska boy knew it all.
- Who will shovel the driveway?
- Who will get me to work if I’m afraid to drive in the snow?
- I have no CLUE how to use the barbecue. I still can’t work the Soda Stream, and we’ve already covered a good pot of coffee.
Me Without Adam 